Reverse Cowgirl

WANTED: dead or alive, one Reverse Cowgirl — last seen on a horse she was riding the wrong way down Main Street, red bandana in the wind, white hat tipped, teal skirt kicking dust. Ten million cash reward and every sheriff from Deadwood to the Yellowstone has her poster nailed to the saloon door. Approach with caution. She won the barrel race going backwards and tipped her hat on the way out.

Big & Rich had it half right — save a horse, sure, but this one saddled up facing the tail and never looked back. Call her Annie Oakley with a smirk, Beth Dutton with better aim, Reba on a Friday night with the jukebox stuck on repeat. However you hold the reins, the bags land where they're pointed. Slow side flips the poster text-only, hybrid slide, boards read her like a rap sheet.

Round her up. This is the outlaw you post on the fridge and ride into the tournament with — bandana on, boots dirty, scoreboard climbing. Deputize her.